As Matthew started to smile something in me showed a little more hope that life was going to get better :) he started to smile at 6 weeks and this was around the time that I went to see a lady by the name of Linda Lewis. She wrote a book called : when blessings don't count ..
The chat with Linda and the read of the book made me feel more settled in the fact that ts was real , but it didn't take away the anxiety and depression.
I was hereafter referred to a psychiatrist by the name of Dr E DU Toit at the panorama : memory and psychiatric unit. She specializes in depression in women. I went to see her and discussed in length all the ups and the downs in my life, the road I'm on and how I'm feeling.
She immediately changed my medication to Cymbalta / Cymgen 60mg. She gave me some alzams for panic attacks and she gave me some sleeping tablets to retrain me to sleep. I didn't want to sleep but needed to sleep.
My mom and Graeme were amazing for 5 days while I was retraining myself to sleep , they stepped in and did all the night feeds.
Literally 3 days later I started lifting. The combination of meds, prayer, the Grace of God and my amazing family and friends I started to see hope and the light....