Tuesday, 20 May 2014

A family holiday away with PND

My folks, Graeme and I decided to go away to a quiet little place in Swellendam. The Somerset gift farm.  somersetgift@polka.co.za It was during July holidays and it was bitterly cold. We arrived at our destination and unpacked our things into the little house. I struggled to settle into the holiday mood and found it very difficult to get up during the night and again in the mornings. My parents were amazing. They would help bath , feed and get up for Matthew. 

I would wake up some mornings at 6am and just start crying ,balling and balling ....how embarrassing if I think back to it now, but the reality was it happened. I just couldn't understand these feelings and emotions . I landed up calling the psychiatrist from the holiday place and asking what more we could do.  He advised I push through till we get home and perhaps go see a dr in a rondebosch who specialises in PND. 

I vaguely remember this 4 day holiday and wished I was able to enjoy it more. It had crisp beautiful surroundings. Cows in the medows, a park for kids, warm fire places and comfortable sleep places. I remember another mommy being there on holiday and she could somewhat relate to my feelings as she had felt similar with her second child, who was then 3 years old. 

When we returned home from this holiday I immediately went to see Dr. bv. She listened to my heart and although others were pushing me to go back home , she insisted I stay with my parents until I was stronger. 

Stronger,?was I ever going to be stronger?was this going to be me for the rest of my life? Dr BV , wanted me to try the 100mg of Zoloft again and give it another two weeks.

  The problem with theses meds  is that it takes time. 
Time was not my best friend. 
I wanted a quick fix. 
I decided to give it another try and remain at my folks for a few more weeks. Around about this tine Matthew began to smile and start 'wakening up' to the world .........