Tuesday, 20 May 2014

PND journey part 2


Getting out of bed was getting harder and harder. No one can explain the feeling , other than you wish you could just climb under that bed and disappear. Disappear till life is normal again. I had a few friends visit, call and send their love. One particular friend would call me everyday to check up on me and encourage me to pray to God for help.  For his hand of protection. She would give me one task a day to do. This seemed to help. Small and simple instructions.
My gynae called everyday to ask how I was doing. At one stage they felt to admit me to get the medicine working quicker, but we battled it out at home. I refused to go anywhere, I didn't want to get dressed and I wasn't interested in tv, radio or much noise. My mom forced to go with her to the local pick n pay. Now if you know me which I doubt many of you do. I never go out in track suites or rarely should I say , never my slippers and never without a splash of make up. This particular day I went out in a purple matching pj track suite. No make up and a loose scruffy pony! Oh my hat! To the local supermarket. Was I feeling ok .... No I guess not. 

My mom runs her own business with a friend, Yvonne. Between my mom and Yvonne. I had someone with me 24-7. They both were incredible. They tried  so hard to make me positive and snap out of it, but goodness me,was this difficult. There were days where I rocked myself, I sat crying for hours, I just felt like vanishing.
I then decided to send Post Natal Depression a SMS. I SMS help to 0828820072. They didn't call me back immediately, but only the next day. They put me in touch with a volunteer living in Table View.

Such a lovely lady named Sonja came to see me the next morning. She brought a whole lot of reading materials. Not for me but for my family. They could read up on it and could understand me better. She gave me a few names of doctors who helped her, when she once suffered from PND. 

I really  struggled most mornings to get out of bed before 11am - I would eventually shower. Push my hair up into a pony tail and venture off to the lounge and sit there. I had many wonderful visitors and people who would call and try their very best to help or understand me .  There were very few people. I'd say 5 who truelly truelly could relate and understand me very well. But bless those others, they just couldn't relate. 

Been in contact with dr C at Milnerton Medi Clinic , he decided to up My meds from 50mg to 100mg per day , but this set off intense headaches so I had to go back to the 50mg. 

I truelly learnt to find my Jesus in my heart and feel his presence  and love xxx